TOUGH MUDDER COMPLETED!!!!!!!!!!
So yeah!!!Bod Squad kicked some Tough Mudder booty! That thing didn't even know what hit it!
Wait...
Ok so it was kind of hard. I still have mud in my nose. I have some random bite looking thingy's peppered all over my tummy (chiggers....). Many of us have inch + long lacerations along our arms. Almost everyone has bruises and raw elbows. Irma found a bug in her hair over 24 hours and a couple showers after. And with the exception of Renea, our fearless blonde superhuman, we are so sore (especially upper body...) that the slightest movement takes great effort.
But...
WE MADE IT!!!!!!!!
So what did they do to us? Just about everything. Like one of my teammates said, "who sits around and comes up with this sh**." Seriously. They are quite inventive really. For me, I described it (towards the end when I had HAD it) as obnoxious. The photos are epic! We had GREAT husband photographers! Thanks Greg, Mark and Abel!!
Did I mention that we also had three brave male souls that helped us through? Without George, Miguel, and Michael...we would've quickly become some other not as understanding dude's problem. They put up with over 10 women for over 12 miles and 20+ obstacles. Hats off. You listened to us talk about boobs and other girly parts "being filled with mud"or "frozen" etc for a long time. You should all get a medal!
So what did I learn from this experience? Not surprisingly, A LOT. I guess, when I jumped in feet first a couple of weeks ago, I didn't intend to learn and get out of it what I did. But I believe there are reasons for everything, and lessons to be learned from all experiences. So what I took away from this weekend, for me, is actually rather profound. So here goes.
I'm not a very good "team player." I say this in the gentlest way possible. Not saying that I don't like team work, or that I don't play well with others. Nothing of that sort. But simply that I learned that as a "teammate," I have some work to do. So forgive me if this gets a little deep here. I started writing this 2 days ago, but it's just 3 days out that I'm really coming to terms with what I got from it all.
I guess, in many regards, I've never been on a "team." At least not a team going after a physical goal. Sure, I was in choir most of my life, and I had to use my voice and "tone it down" a lot back in those days and really put myself behind for the greater good of the group. It's been over 10 years since I've done that though, and physically being a team is a different animal, I think. And going back to choir, I always was more of a soloist. I did best when I was by myself.
Which is why I enjoy running so much. It's solitary. It's me against me. Me against my goal, my time, my pace, me me me. Gosh I sound selfish, and I think this taught me that I really am. When I run, I get in a zone and forget all about what everyone else is doing. When I started, I was super concerned with what my husband was doing, but as I've gotten more comfortable in it, I don't rely on him as much either. Lately, my teammate during a race...is my Garmin.
Now this "team" I speak of is different than the team that I coach for running. I like to think that I do well helping coach others to learn to run, but I'm coaching them to learn to do it ON THEIR OWN. I preach "pace and run your race." To run how you are comfortable, to train how it works for you. To not get so concerned with how fast everyone else is going. So this team experience is different than what I have regularly.
So Tough Mudder, ironically, has NOTHING to do with any sort of individual accolade. In fact, the pledge that you say before, and that's emblazoned on the back of the finisher's shirt is "I will put teamwork and camaraderie ahead of my course time." So for me, this was my first "team" sporting event. I never played organized sports. EVER. This was all new. And I don't think I knew how new it was until I got there.
Without my teammates, I can say 100%, I wouldn't have finished. And without me, I can say 100% that my teammates, wouldn't have missed me much. Not saying that in a bad way, but in this event, I didn't bring a lot to the table. In an event such as Tough Mudder, really, someone my size, has to rely A LOT on others larger, stronger, taller, and more able bodied than myself. I couldn't have gotten over a single wall, made it down AND up a single ravine, attempted monkey bars or the half pipe. None of those things would have been possible without the help of not only my teammates, but strangers as well.
I wasn't much help with carrying the log (my shoulder was like 6 inches under it...because I'm so much shorter). I wasn't much help lifting the giant net (my tallest reach wasn't much to rave about). Not any of those have to do with me not being strong enough or wanting to...I'm just not big enough to make a huge impact. All in all, I felt completely inadequate. Which is what led to my biggest deficiency on Saturday...
My attitude.
And I let that get the best of me. Right from the beginning.
When I ran my first couple of halfs and marathons, I was known to have a "meltdown" right around mile 10 in a half, or 20 in a full, simply because, it was such uncharted territory for me. I would get tired, frustrated, uncertain of what I could do, and I'd be done. I'd cuss, be upset, and then I'd get closer to finishing, get confident, and get over it. But since running is not a team sport, my meltdowns didn't affect the greater good of anything (well...they probably frustrated my husband...). And after a while, I got used to the distance and pace and I stopped having them. I learned to do things in a way that prevented the stress in the late miles. But with this, I didn't anticipate that I'd feel so frustrated so early.
For me, relying on others was a hard thing to do. And since I had to rely on others for a lot of it, it led to me feeling frustrated much earlier. And put me in a place where I felt self conscious. So Saturday, I felt like I was fighting 2 battles. One against the course with all of my teammates, and one big battle with myself. And especially towards the later miles, it was evident. And it's on video.
I've thought about posting one of them. But good golly...my language is just downright unladylike. And my Mom Mom might read this and she wouldn't want to hear me say THAT word. And I don't want my mouth washed out with soap. Sooo...I'll leave it to the imagination. But I've watched that over and over, even shared it, and I hope that by SEEING me get frustrated in that way, it will help me to not do it like that again.
I know, I know. Everyone has their moments. And everyone gets frustrated and says things and acts in a way that later they wish they could change. So, I'm not trying to be hard on myself and say that I totally screwed up and ruined the experience, what I'm saying is, I know, for myself, that I need to get a better handle on my attitude in those situations, and stop thinking so much about how I'm doing, and instead concentrate on how I can help the whole team.
So, I've signed up for another Tough Mudder. And I hope this next time, I will be a better teammate. And that I'll contribute more of a positive vibe. And maybe I'm crazy and no one noticed that I was a sour puss (although...I'm sure it was noticed...). Either way, attitude in check or not, the Tough Mudder is VERY mentally trying event. The length of time and the fact that you have to put yourself in situations where it is VERY possible to get hurt or injured can be taxing. But mostly for me, it was putting myself in a situation where I had no control, and really, couldn't do it by myself.
With all the above being said, I'm thankful for the eye opening experience, and proud to have finished with an amazing group of individuals. And I believe that we are put in certain situations to learn more from them and grow up and get better, and I'm happy to have had an experience that did that. My parents always used to tell me "Lacy, you can't be the best at everything." And I've spent a lot of my life trying to do just that, and have failed miserably. As I've gotten older, I've tried to learn to be the best Lacy that I can be and not worry about everyone else. I also fail at that too. This weekend took it one step further and taught me that being a good teammate can be is just as important as everything else. So I'm going to embrace the challenge of becoming a better team player and shoot for a better next time!
Thanks for cheering me on!
Lacy
