The day that wasn't...

I'm sitting on my balcony in Cozumel on my iPhone, so this is likely to be way more brief than other "recaps". Which is fitting, as my long day yesterday was actually very brief itself.

I've been training for this race for 40 weeks. Yes, I did Ironman Texas. But that was my "B" race for 2015. The whole focus was for me to PR here. I had a great race at Texas. I finally conquered my nutrition and ran a marathon in 90 degree sunshine without bonking. And I'm more grateful now more than ever for that day I had in May.

I sacrificed a lot for yesterday. Time, other opportunities. Races I wanted to do but sat out to train better for this race. I spent a lot of money in therapy for my injury all in order to race yesterday the way I had always dreamed. We spent a lot of money to travel here with the plan of making this the best race. And to sit here this morning, medal-less, sore from what I did do yesterday, I can't say it any other way. It's gut wrenching, heart breaking, and I woke up this morning with the worst put in my stomach. The feeling of failure. Not that I'm a failure...but that I failed at my goal. The goal I worked for all year. They say an ironman is all about lessening the failure, and I was powerless to lessen it yesterday.

My Day:

It started as per usual. Breakfast early, the constant dance of trying to make nature happen (sorry!), and the jitters of getting to the start line. It was compounded yesterday by the fact I had never been in a group before. There were 6 of us all feeling the same thing trying to get to the same place feeling the same jitters. It was a little overwhelming at points for me, but I was happy to see everyone excited.

When we finally got to the swim start, nature finally arrived and I decided to line up with Carolina and Alex and not trudge ahead into a faster corral. The swim was super delayed, and for a while I moved away and got lost in the crowd and cried a little. I told a stranger that we had 3 first timers that came with our team and about how far they had come. How happy I was to be here with all of them.

It seemed like forever to start the swim, like an hour passed. Found out later the dock broke so they had to wait to get everyone in. I told a stranger to text my Mom and tell her it was running late and for my Mom to text Jody so they didn't worry about us not coming in.

Finally I was on the dock. The man in front of me fell and I basically jumped over him into the water. Goggles filled up and I had to fix them 3x early on before I could get into a rhythm.

I thought my jelly fish incident was in the middle of the swim but it's apparent on my watch data whe it happened.




Overall I was stopped for close to 6 minutes. I don't even remember that to be honest. I didn't hold on to anything, I wasn't around anyone. I felt like I got electrocuted and it stunned me. But I don't remember being stopped for that long. I didn't know until I downloaded my data last night. But clearly you can see something happened. My only respite is that I was going so fast the last 1/3rd of the swim, even though I felt like I was dragging my leg, I was in the 1:30/100 yards and it wasn't until the last 100 (that you can also see) that I got pummeled by a giant and lost my bearings.

I remember getting out of the water, and I remember asking immediately if Carolina had gotten out bc I was worried about her (turns out she was A-OK). I got into transition and started to try and drink. I thought that my mouth felt funny in the water, but figured it was the salt. And towards the end I thought it was maybe bc the Giant man hit me hard in the neck and shoulder. But as I put on my shoes, I got the sinking feeling that I knew what was happening.

I'm allergic to bees and wasps. People that know me have seen me panic when there's bees around. In fact at the Harlingen Half we were trying to keep them off of me. I once went on a bike ride with Art and Kristofor and got stung in the chest and immediately had to take benadryl and was out for the day. I had never been stung by a jellyfish before.

I scarcely remember talking to Jody and Erin out of t1. But I tried to mount my bike early, I evidently said I didn't know what I was doing and I also broke my xlab bag full of all my nutrition, so as I biked away, I was holding onto the days food for dear life.


I guess my first mistake was stopping at the first ambulance I saw. It wasn't a red med tent, just an ambulance. But I was desperate bc I wasn't able to swallow my Gu chomps bc my tongue was swelling. I knew I needed Benadryl and I had figured if I could get 25mg in me and then another 25mg later that maybe it wouldn't make me drowsy and I could keep going. So I stopped to ask for Benadryl.

3 men and 1 woman were there to help me, but they didn't speak any English. So here I am, just saying "yo tengo Benadryl y antihistamina" over and over, and all I got was some "consulatado el Dr" or something or other and we were getting no where. One of the guys came out of the ambulance with a light to look in my mouth, and once he did he started saying "la lingua" or something or other and the next thing I knew my bike was in the ambulance and I was being ushered in on the gurney next to it.

It happened so fast. So fast. I was pulled out so quick.  I cant stress enough that this was not what I wanted.  All I wanted was Benadryl and to continue.

So there I was in an ambulance in Mexico with 3 non English speaking medics taking a winding trip across the island. All the main roads were closed so it took forever, sirens blazing and I was honestly scared shitless about being there, no one knowing where I was, no money, no phone. Nothing. They got me to the Amerimed Hospital and I kept saying over and over that I just wanted Benadryl (tongue is still swollen here...) The nurse inside tried to take my clothes off and I said no. They tried to start IVS, I said no. Just Benadryl. Finally a "Dr" came in and gave me one Benadryl. They left me alone for about 20 min or so, started to feel better. Then they came in wanting me to pay...I had no money. Then they wanted all my info from home. Finally the "Dr" came in and he said he thought it was not a jellyfish but an octopus???

That's a way better story. I was bitten by an octopus during ironman cozumel.

Finally they agreed to discharge me after more arguing and they called me a cab that I also didn't have money to pay for.


As I sat in the lobby, with my box of Benadryl (I took 25mg more) and my bike, a nurse that spoke English came in and I explained what happened. I could tell she felt sorry for me and the misunderstanding. She let me use her phone to call cozumel palace to try and get a hold of Erin or Jody so they wouldn't worry.

Finally I was in a cab on my way to our hotel, saw Jody and Joe, told them I was ok and Joe paid my cab and that was it.  I was done.

I sat for a bit in the room, no tear yet, almost shock.  I wrote my brief facebook post and got in the shower.  Once the hot water hit my leg, my sting flared up and i could see where it got me on my right ankle and calf and top of foot. Young living oils fix that right up, its almost gone today.

 I went out on the course to cheer but was determined not to let anyone see me, especially Kristofor as to not leave them wondering why i was not out there. Once they were all out on the last bike loop, I went to retrieve my bags and turn in my timing chip.  Kind of a big mistake because once Kristofor got into t2, he saw my missing bag and panicked, i was waiting for him outside the tent.

I told him what had happened and he ran out on the first loop.  Matt from Base performance texted me and told me to meet him at mile 2 of the run course to cheer, and i ran down there, and then ran up to mile 3 to wait for Kristofor.

When i saw him, i knew he was in rough shape, so I jogged the rest with him.  He was so sick.  Sicker than i have ever seen him on a course ...and in 2013 i saw him super sick.  Every 5 minutes he was puking.  Totally dehydrated, so I decided to run the remainder with him. It was kind of therapeuti c to be out there where I had wanted so badly to be.  To feel like i was still doing what i came to do.

Hell, i paid $715 for this race, and I still had my bracelet and my bib...so I was going to run.  My garmin says i did a little over 23 miles yesterday.  Thats all day with running back and forth etc. And my feet felt fine.  I know i didnt do the bike, but Im confident that I would have gotten my 13:30 ultimate goal.

Total yesterday, i swam 2.4 miles, biked 5.44, and ran 23...

I keep thinking theres a bigger reason as to why i didnt get to race yesteday.  I keep thinking there has to be a reason. I was ok yesterday, but this morning with people asking me my time and how it went makes it suck even more.  And when all you want to do is fall apart, its not worth making everyone around you feel bad for having the race they wanted.

But it is humbling.  No one is above a bad day.  And the next time i have a good one and feel like im on top of the world, i would be good to remember that.  Anything can happen in a race that long, and everyone will have days where they are consumed by the what may have beens.

Im going to try and concentrate on the successes i had this season, the fact that my feet still work, that i stand here pain free and uninjured today.  And i may cry a dozen more times and have a bunch more moments.  But im going to try my damdest to be grateful.

Until the next.....

At this point, I may as well just start over....

Hi.  Hello.  How do you do?

My name is Lacy Shea Healey, I'm a personal trainer, running coach, triathlon coach, 3x ironman triathlete, ultra marathoner, wife, semi-midget, daughter, sister, friend, foe.  You get the picture.

And people wonder why I haven't written something this week.....

So for those that are just now following me, and for those that have been following me for years, I've kind of fallen of the "blog-iverse" for the last several months.  Since September really.  If I'm honest, that isn't entirely true.  I've started to write entries a couple of times, but I either 1.  Couldn't bring myself to finish them. or 2.  Couldn't bring myself to ever let them see the light of a computer screen.  So this is going to be it.  My entry back into the blogging universe.

Why?

Well, I just finished my 3rd Ironman and I'd like to tell the story.  And ya know what, people read my blog!  A stranger approached me last week and told me she had spent her ENTIRE evening reading every single one of my posts since the Summer of 2011.  I've had friends and family ask me about it.  And you know what?  I love to do it.  So this is it.  Welcome back Little Ironman that Could....where should we begin?

IRONMAN TEXAS....Part DEUX 

I pushed the button for my second round of Ironman Texas-ness on November 1st.  And I've said the sentence to probably 3 dozen people "Had I known then what I know now...I wouldn't have done it."  Why?  Well, in late November I decided to head out on my own in the personal training/run coaching world.  It was a scary, sad, stressful time right before the holidays.

As my business opened in December, the Holiday hustle and bustle came and went.  I found myself in early January having done absolutely nothing for my training.  In fact, my first week of training I got he flu and wasn't even able to start.  When I did get started in late January, life happened.  Not life like "I got busy and was working too much and sleeping too little" (that was happening...).  But life. Earth shattering, nothing is as important as being with my loved ones, world stopping, cry myself to sleep.  Life.  It's so funny when something so big happens that it makes things that seemed so big seem so small.  But it's actually not funny, its terrifying. When family gets sick. The world feels like it stops.

So my world stopped for a while in January and February.  Wasn't that I didn't have time to train, it was just that I lacked any focus or gusto.  So many other things were more important, and before I knew it, it was March.  And I feel like that is where this Ironman Journey began in earnest.

Main difference this time with training was my style of training.  As I've been around the Ironman block a couple of times, I've learned, just like in marathon training, there is more than one way to skin a triathlete wearing a wetsuit.  The first time, I commenced in the long slow follow every single online training plan recommendation I could find with no guidance.  I did tons of junk miles and high volume. Second time, I was just coming off my first and I just picked up where I left off.  This time....

I was basically coming off a long 6 month break.  I had done Austin 70.3 on 3 weeks of training and wasn't happy with my performance.  And then I just stopped.  So looking at a calendar in March knowing I had little base to build on, I knew things were going to have to change.

Good thing my husband is a Coach!  We eliminated a lot of volume and focused solely on the intensity of my training.  I did a 50k as my "70.3 simulation" (we were out there for 6.5 hours so it was about even for fueling practice...), and other than that, the ONLY running I did was 3-6 milers off the bike at race pace.  I rode the bike trainer at a resistance so high you could smell it burning my tires.  I would kill myself for an hour or two and then run my ass off.  When I swam, I swam fast.  Fast for me...  I only did 2 swims long and slow at the 2 mile mark, the rest were quick 500yard repeats or 2000 yards with my heart rate up.  So basically....I HIIT trained.  I PRed my 5k and my 10k times off the bike in the month of April.  Something with this type of training clicked with me, but the fact that it wasn't proven made me very nervous.  Sure I did a couple of 50-70 mile rides.  But due to time limitations because of work life, family life, and my health, the lack of volume made me sick to my stomach at points.  Overall, I would gather I was giving myself a solid 8-10 hours a week, when in the past I was used to doubling that.

One thing that was spot on throughout.  My nutrition.  I had failed so bad at that before, this time.  My body was an engine, and I fueled it as such.  Gone were the days of the post ride pizza.  Sayonara to the nights where I lost myself in a dozen wings because I "earned it" on my bike ride or run.  I seldomly "rewarded" myself for my training.  I stuck to my plan.  And I went into this race leaner, stronger, and I personally think, more conditioned than I had in the past.  Reason being...my nutrition was ON POINT.  That includes on race week and during the race.  ON POINT.

Bored yet?  That's cool, I'm about to get to the good stuff....

We got to the Woodlands last Wednesday, checked into our house for the week.  Headed straight to Ironman Village.  It's always this sigh of relief to get to Ironman Village.  It's like I'm amongst my people.  Can't describe it.  Love the hell out of it.  Picked up my rad new backpack...

My yearly backpack photo!

We also made our maiden journey to the Cheesecake Factory (don't worry...I "macro-ed" in my dinner...wasn't I just talking about nutrition?!).  It's like Kris and I's mecca.  We can't go to a city that has one without making the trip.  To skip it would be painful.  So we waltzed in and asked for our table for 2.  Behind us was a guy in an Ironman Arizona jacket that asked for a table for 1.  As Kris and I walked to the table, I told him that I would be sad if I had to come to an event by myself.  He agreed, and we sat down.  30 seconds later I said I wanted to invite the guy to eat with us.  Kris agreed, so I went and asked a stranger to come sit with us.  His name was Seth, and we had the BEST dinner triathlon conversation ever.  This sport is so awesome for that.  Strangers instantly bonded over the 140.6 mile journeys we'd made before.  By dinner's end, we had figured out Seth was also friends with our buddies, Doug and Stephanie!  This sport is also very small.  As Seth put it, there's only 1 Ironman in the world this weekend, and it's here in Texas, and 2700 people are doing it.  We inhabit a small small world.  As we finished dinner, I knew we would be seeing Seth around!

Seth, myself and Kristofor at Cheesecake Factory!

Thursday, we had signed up for the Inaugural Ironman Texas "Undie Run".  Now what is this you ask?  In Kona (and at other IM venues), they do a run in your underwear a couple of days before the race to benefit a charity.  We had heard about this on FB a couple days before, and had signed up.  We got to the Goose's Acre on the Waterway where it was supposed to start, in our undies but covered up (who wants to be the creepy walking in public in their chonies?), as people started to assemble and undress, things got interesting.  Right as we stood on the Waterway, getting directions from the Race Director, he asks, "do we have the National Anthem recording", the other lady replied no, so he asked "does anyone sing?" and he kind of chuckled.  I said, "I sing" (I've sang the National Anthem for sporting events before....), and he literally handed me the megaphone, I asked if I needed to turn it on, he said no, I started singing.  In my underwear.  On the Waterway....for what was probably close to 1000 people because there were people EVERYWHERE and I was this chick singing the National Anthem in her underwear.  Most random thing I've done, the video is on FB.  And in a lot of other places as well because I was recognized all weekend as the underwear National Anthem singer.  Never a dull moment friends.  We ran the undie run (2 hot awful miles...), and went home to rest. 

We woke up to get ready for the athlete dinner, and my first panic set in....

I was swollen.  I was swelling.  Badly...

*Side note:  And this is all I will say about this even though I've probably written 8 posts about it but have never posted them.  I have several auto-immune disorders.  I have hyPO-thyroidism.  I have Fibromyalgia.  My body reacts to stress by swelling.  I missed several training days this cycle because my eyes just swell shut and sometimes my chronic pain wins.  Usually I can fix it with meds and drinking tons and tons and tons of water.  But regardless, it happens and the Thursday before the race...it happened....

1pm Thursday at the Undie Run, 6pm Thursday at Athlete dinner, 

some other random time in April that this happened just for effect.

Wow.  Well I'm going to pat myself on the back for posting that (especially the last one).

Moving on....

Athlete dinner was amazing, as usual.  Got home and Amanda had finally FINALLY arrived to start in the pre-Ironman fun!  It was so nice to this year BRING my Ironmates with me, which is why I didn't have to meet any on the course because I brought my own :).  

We woke up Friday, went and did a quick practice swim.  Commenced bag packing and checking, got rained on, went shopping, got the most awful braid job done to my hair possible, took it out while throwing a mini tantrum in the Macy's, went home.  Cooked dinner.  Ate dinner.  Greeted all of our guests and cheerleaders coming into town to support us.  Bought a cake...

Because obvi we needed an #ironginger celebratory cake!

And then we went to bed.

Race morning came super super early.  Jody was a dear and began making pancakes for us around 330AM, and as everyone was up and at em' by 430AM, you could feel the nervous energy in the house.  Carolina braided my hair (it stayed all day!!), and I milled around anxious.  Amanda, Kris and I headed out to the Woodlands first.  We got to transition right after 5, and by transition I mean, Tough Mudder training course.  

It had rained so much in the area on the days before, our bikes were racked above feet of mud.  My "area" being the muddiest.  We had to air up tires while they were racked, and before the race even started, my legs were coated in a thin layer of mud.  Gross.  And it smelled.  Yuck.

We walked the almost mile walk to swim start, I had to pee so bad it hurt.  I handed Kris all of my bags and hopped in the line, but when I got out, I couldn't find him.  First race day freak out.  Find my husband with my swim skin and goggles or you likely can't start the race in 10 min.  Found him, also found a surprise extra spectator, LaHuan, who had hopped a late flight to be there.  So exciting!  We had little time to take pictures and sunscreen before it was time to head into our corrals for the "wave start".  This year, you had to line up with your projected swim time (kind of like at a marathon), and they fed you into the lake that way to reduce congestion.  Seemed to be more organized, still was really congested because Lake Woodlands is narrow.

I lined up at the front of the 1:40-1:50 time group (that 1 hour 40 minutes to 1 hour 50 minutes....).  But then I got chicken shit and as I got closer to the water, I got out of line and went further back.  I did that twice.  Once because I was scared, and once because this chick was totally freaking the eff out and her juju could not be handled.  I finally got in the water about 6:51AM and my day began.

THE SWIM

I fought to have room to the first buoy, which is not uncommon.  Arms and legs everywhere, can't get into a rhythm.  Having to sight every 4 instead of every 6.  Not even able to remotely think about form. By Buoy 2, I felt better.  I swim close to the buoys to stay on course, but that also meant I "Interacted" a lot more with peoples appendages.  I got kick in the ear HARD before the first turn, and as I was heading back toward the canal, I got kicked in the back of the neck.  It was those damn wetsuit people. I was being swum over by a bunch of neoprene wearing animals.  (it was wetsuit optional...the wetsuits started last...but they caught up...).  Annoying.  The canal is kind of a sigh of relief for me even though you have to go a long way.  I just feel like I can speed it up once I'm there.  I also didn't make a super wide turn into the canal this year, likely saving precious time.  Once I started hearing the names being called, I knew it was almost over.  I never looked at my watch. I didn't allow it.  I didn't want to know. (I only swam 61 meters extra on race day...I was stoked about that!)

I had told myself the night before that I would "KNOW" after the swim.  That I would know how prepared or un prepared I was once that was over.  Should I get out of the water past the 2 hour mark, I would probably be resigning myself that this was going to be a tough fought day full of barely making cutoffs and buzzer beaters Ironman Style.  When I got out of the water, and looked at my wrist and it said 1:40...I knew.  I KNEW that Saturday would be my day.  I probably leapt 20 feet in the air I was so excited.  11 and a half minute improvement.  I headed into T1 to greet my Ironmate Linda and get ready for the bike!

Unauthorized Selfie with Linda in T1 with a Payday Bar in my mouth!

THE BIKE

Did I mention Transition was Muddy?  It smelled like cow manure.  And I had to run barefoot through the mud carrying my shoes and socks, then pick up my bike to carry it, then run to the concrete area, wash my feet, put socks on wet feet, put bike shoes on, then head out on the 112 mile bike course.  It was slightly annoying but hell,  I WAS SO EXCITED BECAUSE TODAY WAS MY DAY!  As I got on the bike I saw my cheering squad, and I can say this, I was the happiest I had been in months!

Live in this moment, for this moment  is your life.

As I rode off into the Woodlands humidity, I settled in and just started to enjoy it.  The swim was over. The swim was over.  Once we got out of the city, the bike was breathtaking.  I can't describe it any way else.  Everything was so green and lush, I had a perma smile on my face!  Last year, the first half of the bike gave me fits because of gastro issues.  This year, I made my first stop at mile 10, all was normal, all was good, and I was going SO FAST (for me...), I kept thinking, "if I'm going this fast on the hard part, I'm going to FLY on the back part"...because last year I felt super strong on the last 50 miles.  Time flew by as I raced through the Sam Houston National Forest, passing people, eating and taking my Base Salt (LOVE THAT SHIZZZZ...) as I was supposed to.  I was having a great ride.  No unnecessary potty stops, and I made it to the 56 mile mark about 25 minutes FASTER than I had at the 70.3 distance I did in October.  When I got to mile 60 to our Special Needs bags, I arrived an hour and 20 minutes EARLIER than I had the prior year.  I had BIG HUGE expectations for how the last 52 miles would go.  But I took my time at Special Needs, because hey!  I have TIME!  

In the forest getting all allergied up!

Then we changed directions.  The roads felt newly chip sealed, the wind was in my face, and it was hilly.   The shade of the forest was gone, and we were more exposed.  I was bummed as my mph decreased, but I decided tactically, I had to have a plan.  So I came up with one.

During training, during life in the preceding months, there had been so many things that had made me angry.  I was mad.  I was so mad at some points that I ruined entire days and weekends because you know what, I was mad.  I wasted a lot of time being mad at so many things completely out of my control.  So by mile 65ish, with my mph dwindling, I decided I was going to be mad.  But mad in a good way.  Every 10 miles, I could be mad about something I had been mad about.  I could yell (I didn't...), I could scream (I didn't...), whatever, take it all out...take it all out on the course.  Use that to fuel you, and Kristofor can say, I rarely race better than when something gets me pissed.  So I was pissed.  Pissed at lost time, pissed at lost friendships, pissed at cancer, pissed at my body and insecurities, etc.  I let myself be pissed.  And even though it didn't speed me up a whole lot.  It got me through those miles.  And the rule was, once that 10 mile block was up, I couldn't be mad about it anymore.  I had to let it go.  I can tell you that since last Saturday...I am a lot less angry.

By the time we entered the Woodlands again, I was ready to be off the bike.  There was traffic, and it was hot, and we were close to the traffic (which is annoying....), and the exhaust fumes made my stomach turn, and I just wanted to be off the bike.  As I twisted and turned my way back to transition, I told myself, don't get down...Remember what Dave Scott said "you get to run."

Side note:  At the athletes dinner, Dave Scott, Ironman Champion 6x over spoke to us.  He talked about a lot, but he told us, "don't be afraid to let yourself have a good day, if things are going well, let them go well, don't be afraid to see your potential."  And he talked about how his hardest Ironman, he reminded himself, after a tough bike, that he got to run.  This stuck with me.

So, as I wheeled my tiny Cervelo into T2, mud and all, hot and needing to go to the bathroom.  I was still excited, because, I get to run.

THE RUN

Time must just stop in transition because I felt like I was only in that manure smelling tent for 3 minutes but it was much longer.  I exited as fast as I could, crossed the timing mat, THEN realized that I hadn't sunscreened or eaten or done anything I was supposed to.  So I spent the first mile doing the necessities.  Sunscreen. Check.  Potty. Check.  Pretzels. Check.  Base Salt. Check.  ICE IN MY BRA AND DOWN MY PANTS. Check.  Ok....now I can run.

And I did.  I promised myself I would walk through every single aid station whether I needed to or not. It was very very hot.  And if I was going to run, I was going to have to keep an eye on my core temperature, my swelling (I had already loosened my watch 3 notches on the bike...), and I had to eat.  Since I planned to run RUN, I couldn't eat and run, so I would eat as I walked through the aid stations, drink, ice, etc, but when I was running, I was running.  Usually 9-930 minute miles, I caught myself in the 8's a few times and though Dave Scott said to let yourself have a good day...I didn't want to over do it.  So my miles equivalated to about 11:30-12:30 with the stops.  And I was good with that.  IMTX is 3 run loops and I made myself go to the bathroom once each loop to make sure I could pee so I knew I was hydrated.  And I felt good.  So good.  My legs felt really really good for a long time.  I saw Seth, the guy we had dinner with when I first started the lap, he had had a great bike but was struggling to run in the heat.  I was so tempted to stay with him, but he told me to go on.  Then I saw Sandra at an aide station.  So nice to see familiar faces!  As I got to the back half of the first lap, I knew I was going to see my girls soon.  I use them as my carrots all day, just get to them.  But I got so excited and fired up to see them, I ran past them in a flurry of yelling, excitement, and a billion other emotions, that I got a .25 mile down the waterway and got sad.  Should I go back and hug them?  That was rude.  I just ran by and yelled at my fan club.  Way to go Lacy.  But I pressed on, told myself I would see them on the second loop again.  I saw Amanda FLYING towards me about mile 6, asked her where she was and she said loop TWO.....HOLY CRAP...she was absolutely annhilating it!  She was going to blow this out of the water fo shizzle.  I never ever see Kristofor.  I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing.

Our Team Healey Fans at their camp for the day!

I asked a guy what time it was as I headed out to lap 2.  It was SO EARLY.  Last year, I ran 2 laps almost entirely in the dark.  This year, it was still dusk when I started my last lap.  The miles just passed this time.  I kept everything even, I wasn't pushing my heart rate but I wasn't loping along.  I got so many so many comments about how focused I looked. 

And you know what...I was focused.  In the past, I've walked so much of the marathon.  I make friends, I talk to people, and that has made for 2 very amazing experiences with some super amazing friendships.  My first IM I would not have finished had I not had Ali, my Ironmate forever from Cozumel, with me.  Is it strange that I can literally feel Ali cheering for me as I run? Its almost like we are connected like that.  Anyways, I didn't make any friends this time.  I just ran, I just put my brain on go and I went.  I had doubted that I would make it under 5 hours simply due to the heat.  But I knew that a sub 15 hour IM was still in my reach.  As I finished lap 2, I calculated my pace and knew that sub 5 hour marathon was probably gone, but I could make it under 15 hours for the day.  So I set out to do that on the last lap.  It was darker so I tried to run more, stopped a little less at the stops.  But the pain had set in.  

By lap 3, I was convinced I had broken my left big toe, or at least fractured it.  It hurt so bad, was throbbing.  Not the nail, the actual toe (Update...theres nothing wrong with my toe).  I'm a forefoot striker, so every step made me grimmace.  My hips got tight and the lingering tightness from the bike ride set into my back.  I had to loosen my watch 3 more loops on the run.  My swelling wasn't awful, but I could feel myself start to chafe more and more because I had run 20 miles in wet clothes.  At mile 23 when I finally saw Priscilla.  I hadn't seen the girls since lap 1 because they were at the finish watching Amanda and Kristofor when I passed by.  She asked me how I was, and I was a bit lonely, but ok.  Then I saw my husband, and I hugged him, saw the medal for the first time, told him everything hurt so bad, and he said "you are almost done"  which I know he wouldn't say unless it were true.  Duh, I had 3 miles to go.  And I took off.  I let myself walk half a mile during mile 24.  I just kind of took in the day for a few minutes.  I gave myself a little moment of slow down where I wasn't busy eating running or icing.  I just walked for a few.  And then I could hear the roar of the crowd, and like every other time, nothing hurts anymore, the world stops for you and that epic moment as you enter the finisher chute, and then Mike Reilly says "Lacy YOU ARE AN IRONMAN" and all is right in the world.

I did my "pose" but this is what they caught on camera :)

AFTERMATH

I'll save everyone the gory details but post race was rough.  I was fine most of the day Sunday, but Sunday night I became VERY VERY VERY ill with fever and stomach pains.  I was sick all Monday and Tuesday and actually didn't eat my first proper meal that I didn't throw up until Wednesday.  Turns out I picked up a virus on the course and it threw me down for a couple of days.  But I'm fully recovered and tomorrow I'll be back to my regular self.

5 weeks ago, I was coming home from work about 8PM, and they were talking about a new song on the radio.  From the moment I heard the first verse, I was in tears.  Sometimes people write things that are so epically perfect to what you have in your head.  It's like someone wrote my thoughts and put them to music.  I immediately downloaded the song, played it when I was down and out about my training.  And on the run course, I heard it as I was coming in to finish mile 24.  

When Kristofor and I were driving around on Sunday, it came on the radio and he looked at me and said "this is so your song"...and I began to cry big ugly awful tears.  Because it is my song. And I told him that I was so so tired because for the first time, I felt like I actually RACED an ironman.  I didn't let my fears about time cutoffs and bikes breaking and running out of gas stop me.  For me, I didn't race conservatively, I didn't finish and say "I could have done better" or "I should have ran"...I finished and knew that I had given May 16th the absolute best that I had.  I know I can do better still, and I know I have a lot to work on.  But for me, last Saturday was perfect.  I wouldn't change a moment, a second, a step, a pedal, or a swim stroke.  I left behind so many things I needed to leave behind on that course, and I'm choosing to believe I raced so strong because I carried the weight of so much during my training, that when I finally did let it go, I was able to fly.  14 hours and 56 minutes of the best therapy I could ever ever ever have.  Last Saturday was my Fight Song, the whole day.

THE END.....

Until Cozumel :)